It was early 2010 and we had the whole Kink squad down under for a New Zealand/Australia tour. This particular night we were staying in a hostel in queens town, New Zealand. Really nice place, set up aside some mountains and coincidentaly inhabited by a pack of hot chicks (everything about our time spent in New Zealand was perfect). We were all hanging out, drinking, talking to the girls and getting ready to head into town for the night. It was a short walk from the hostel to the bar which involved cutting across a dark, empty field. As we’re making our way across the field we see a guy and what looks to be his girlfriend coming toward us. No big deal, just strangers passing…until Tony Hamlin hits the dude with ultimate New Zealand no no. The Green Laser. Tony busted his laser out on the wrong dude, at the wrong time. This guy was 1 against 10 and was not scared, his chick wasn’t scared and he was pissed. A few swings thrown between him and Tony, and a wild haymaker thrown by KC Badger and we both went our separate ways.

A couple minutes later we get to the bar, funny story in hand and a good night ahead of us. Well not too long after that the Maori show up at the bar. The Maori are the locals and natives to Queenstown. They are like the underground protector of their land and not too fond of tourists. These dudes were big, scary and really pissed off. They immediately picked all of us out as if we had red flags on our heads. How they found us in town so quickly, we’ll never know. Anyways, they come storming into the bar, shouting claims that we hit a girl! Apparently the couple we had stumbled across in the field had stronger connections to the town than we could have ever known. Somehow a message got relayed to these guys that we had hit a girl. For the record, absolutely nobody hit this girl! But these guys wouldn’t hear anything of it. They wanted us outside the bar, now, to meet our impending doom. There was a whole gang of them and suddenly our numbers meant nothing. The bar quickly caught on and wanted us out as well, the locals wanted us out and everyone seemed to be on the side of the Maori. The police even showed up and just about fed us to the vultures. The whole town thought we were these female beating, American tourists trying to ruin there beloved region. We had our guides trying to escape through bathroom windows and I had a monster rip his shirt off in front of me while assuring I am going to die.

Fortunately after what seemed like forever, the police stepped in. I think they saw how genuinely terrified we all were and how pissed the Maori were. They knew what these guys were capable of and how badly they wanted to exercise that ability on us. We ended up getting 2 taxis called for us and being police escorted out of the bar, into the taxis and back to the hostel. It was like a scene out of a movie. The Maori lined up outside waiting to get a hand on one of us with pitbulls by the leash. If just a police officer could look the other way for one second it would of been brutal. We eventually made it back safe, but extremely paranoid. We had heard a few guys found our spot so we locked up the place as if it was Fort Knox and Tony frantically ran around handing out butcher knives for a bit. A couple more dudes found the hostel shortly after, knocking on windows and unknowingly passing by Walter Pieringer and Sean looking for blood.

We all got a half ass sleep, got our shit together and got out of town the next morning. The whole thing seemed unreal. The New Zealand trip was so good between jet boating, amazing scenery, good spots, downhill big wheel racing, new friends and loose women…something like that was bound to come our way.

Couple notables from that night as well…
-sexton missed it all cause he snagged a chick prior to even going out.
-Doyle got super pissed at Tony for starting the whole thing.
-KCs haymaker lead to mostly a whiff and sent him to the ground.
-girls we had in the bar eventually left with other guys as we watched from the police detainment.

Jay Roe

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